Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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