sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
