I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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