Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
