The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
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Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
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My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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