Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
