The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
