Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
