I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
