Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
