I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
