Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
