return my video game
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
