Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
