these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
