that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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