Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
