Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
