38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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