it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
