she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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