Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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