VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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