and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
