if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize