is your mom at the bar?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We left an ass print on the piano.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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