He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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