...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize