My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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