The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Shame is for Republicans.
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