apparently the secret to your success is patron
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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