He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
