i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize