i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
