On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
