We won't sleep together?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
