i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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