I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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