Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
