Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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