She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
