i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
