Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize