y did u give ur computer a hand job?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
