i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
