I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
