Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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