dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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