I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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