I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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