Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
how does that bad decision feel?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
