i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
