I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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