i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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