Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!

(269): View more from Michigan

...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...

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(850): View more from Florida

Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff

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(916): View more from California

He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again

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(316): View more from Kansas

I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"

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(217): View more from Illinois

Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.

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(289): View more from Ontario

Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.

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(480): View more from Arizona

So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.

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