Apparently you make a good broom.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dear god my vagina.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
