You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
MIDGETS
????
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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