Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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