then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
