This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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