He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
that is very illegal...i love you.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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