I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
