The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
